Every Christian dating relationship needs to have Christ at its center. God is the Creator of the universe - wouldn’t you want someone like that to direct and guide your relationship? I’ve talked about this topic many times in my site (Keeping God at the Center, Practical Ways to Keep God in the Center, and Taking Time to Worship Together) because it’s that important! Since God needs to be at the center of your relationship, you should take the time to uplift each other spiritually in Christ! But what if the two people aren’t followers of Christ? What if one is a follower but the other is “of the world”? In this article, I’ve pointed out the three types of couples you’ll see and how they can get (or keep) their focus on Christ.

Sadly, the majority of dating couples out there today adhere to the secular norm. They are having sex, going to parties (where apple juice isn’t served…), and involved in things that are detrimental to their lives. One of the things I’m working on in my personal walk with Christ is learning to love others like it says in John 13:35 (”By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another“). To put it simply, this type of couple can be difficult to love. When I’m around them I find myself listening to their lives that clearly is missing something but they think everything is just fine. What a way to live…

The second type of couple can be just as frustrating as the first couple mentioned. Have you ever seen a couple where one person is a devout Christian and the other is a ‘lukewarm’ Christian? You can spot these couples a mile away. The one person who is constantly on fire for Christ just can’t get enough of Him and His Word. The other person seems to just go through the motions - go to church like a robot, go to youth group to mingle, crack the Bible every Christmas and Easter and on a good day tithe. It drives me nuts when I see these couples!! I want to tell the one person who is not on fire for Christ to focus on what’s really important in life!

With that said, I have rarely seen a relationship where both people are equally excited about Christ (the third type of couple). When I do, I LOVE IT. I love spending time with these types of couples because you can tell they are simply on fire for God. They are great to talk to because it seems that every other sentence contains the word “God” in it - they truly are living just as God told us to!

So how do you get to a point where you both are pumped for Christ? In the paragraphs below, I give a few pointers to the different couples that are out in the world today.

Both people are not followers of Christ - The big issue here is that they typically are not looking to have a personal relationship with Christ. I have seen a ton of couples fall under this category. If you are a Christian and are friends with a couple like this, pray for them! Ask God to soften their hearts so they are more receptive to God’s Word. A HUGE percentage of the world falls into this category, so chances are you know a lot of couples like this!

Don’t be afraid to talk to non-believing couples about Christ. In my experiences, I have rarely had anyone just “blow me off.” Sometimes you’ll even get the response that all Christians are looking for when talking to this group: “You know, things really haven’t been going so well and I can’t figure out what I’m looking for…” - talk about a great entry point! As Christians, we are to preach God’s Word to ALL - not just to those who are already Christians.

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you” - Matthew 28:19-20

One person is on fire for Christ while the other is lukewarm or a non-believer - I’m not going to lie - this is a tough situation. I’ve hit upon this topic when I talked about dating non-believers. This type of couple is much less prevalent in today’s society, but they are definitely out there. I hope that you aren’t one of them!

In my experiences the best thing to do in this situation is to encourage the one who is living a Godly life to continue in their faith and give them support. Sadly, they may not get past “how was your day” with their boyfriend or girlfriend in conversations because their partner just doesn’t want to talk about God. I personally feel that Christians should not be dating non-believers. I feel that this is a Biblical principle and we need to apply it to our life. While you may hear of a couple of successful missionary dating stories, you’ll hear a lot more stories that ended in disaster. Simply put, God never intended Christians to date non-believers:

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” - 2 Corinthians 6:14

Both people are on fire for Christ - This is how it’s supposed to be! God wants us to be focused on Him in all we do. Couples in this category are a blast to be around because they know what’s really important in life. Am I saying that they always have a perfect relationship? Definitely not. I know that my relationship with my fiancee is not perfect - there is always room for improvement! Even though we’re not perfect (we’re fallen humans…), we strive to be the best followers of Christ that we can be.

You may be asking yourself how to keep the intensity of your relationship up without losing focus on God. If you are stumped on what to do on a date, I have written a ton of articles that give date ideas. Christian dating can definitely be a blast without stepping an inch outside of God’s commands. In order to stay within God’s laws, you should be reading the Bible together as well as praying together on a daily basis. By staying focused on Christ, He will lead your paths!

“For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.” - Matthew 18:20

While there are many different people out there, God has given us His Word to guide us in dealing with them. God created everyone on this earth and has a great interest in each of our lives. I encourage you to give praise to the One who thought of the whole attraction thing in the first place - God.